Alone in the darkness

I went for a walk

Published on October 1, 2004 By LadyCleve In Life Journals

I went for a walk this morning. Actually, I've been walking about an hour in the morning almost every day this week, and I'm hoping to make it a habit. But this morning was different. This morning I went out earlier. This morning it was dark.

For those who read my last article (Link), you will understand why this was such a big thing for me. It was not easy, but I did it. And I took less time to walk the same distance I had been walking all week. Most of the time when I go walking, at least recently, I take a book. Yes, a book. I read while I'm walking. I may not walk as fast as I might without the book, but it's still a pretty good pace, I'm walking in a relatively safe area, and I can enjoy a good read while I exercise. Since it was dark this morning, I left my book at home. I mean, I would have looked positively silly walking down the side of the road with a book in one hand and a flashlight in the other. So I took my weights instead. My little 1 pound handweights that are just the right size. Good exercise, and a pretty good punch if I had to defend myself.

So, how was I able to make myself go out in the dark? I had somewhere to go, somewhere I had to be this morning, and if I didn't go walking when I did, I wouldn't have gotten my walk in today. That somewhere was important enough to make me face my fear.

I went to school. The intermediate school that's not far from here. A friend of mine is the choir teacher there, and last year she had me substitute for her when she was out. Through her I met the band director, and I subbed for him too. I really enjoyed it because I actually got to direct, and rehearse, the band and the choir. I ended up going in pretty regularly and helping with the flute section, but it being the end of the year at that point, I didn't feel I had accomplished much. Last week the band director called me again and asked for help. He is a brass player (euphonium principally), and doesn't do as well with the flute. He has 10 beginner flutes this year, and one of them in particular is having a lot of problems. Can't stay on task, doesn't focus or remember well, and is very down on herself and her abilities. She has all kinds of things written in her music book, like I Suck!!! and The Flute is Weird!!!. I started working with her yesterday morning and I told her that sometimes the flute is weird, but weird isn't a bad thing, weird is cool! This morning I had two of the girls, and it was a little more of a challenge, but not too bad. I'm really looking forward to this year and have high hopes.

I have been playing the flute for 17 years, and my first student was almost 11 years ago. My last two years in high school I taught the flute section of the beginner band in the junior high, and I have had several private students since then. It's been difficult to really get much going, as we've had to move so many times over the last 5 years. Several times I've had people offer to help me build up a studio (a good studio would mean I wouldn't have to deliver pizzas anymore), but I've always held back for fear of having to move suddenly and leave my students without someone to help them. I'm not sure now how long we'll be here..............alot of it depends on when (if) the Army lets my hubby go, what he decides to do after, and so on. I really want to do this now, and there's a huge market with very few teachers in this area, but I'm not sure if it would work or if it's selfish of me to even consider.

In any case, I will enjoy what I'm doing for now, and as long as it helps me overcome my fears of the dark, I think it's worth it.

I think I'm going to go print up some flyers now................

Comments

LadyCleve

on Oct 01, 2004

As I was walking back towards the house this morning, the sun came up. We live on top of a hill and my morning walk follows the ridgeline. Most of the land is still being developed, so it's not crowded with houses, and the view is wonderful. My reward for braving the dark this morning....................ths most beautiful sunrise I've seen in many a year. Thank you Lord!

oleteach

on Oct 05, 2004

I could feel your peace!

I used to walk outdoors too and loved it, going about 4 miles each day. Now that I have reached an advanced age, I resort to exercise each day on my mini trampoline. It is an exercise promoted by the Air Force. I have been doing this for the last two years, every day for at least 25-40 minutes. It really gets my heart rate up to maximum aerobic rate and my feet do not have to raise more than an inch off the surface, much safer for me than walking on uneven terrain. Good post!

BlueDev

on Oct 05, 2004

LadyCleve, having read your other article I think it was great you were not only able to get going in the dark morning, but that you were rewarded with a majestic sunrise. Just another example that after the trial comes the blessing. No matter how big or small.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!