should I stay or should I go now?
My head is spinning. It kind of hurts, but not quite. It's been a long week with very little sleep followed by way too much. And I'm so torn and excited that I'm stressed.
Last week I spent most of my time working on updating my resume so I could submit my application for a job that I really wanted on post that closed on Friday. That meant alot of time on the computer and online. I was also working on a series of classes (non-credit) online so I could include them on my resume, as I knew they would be beneficial. As I was updating my resume, I had to look up a couple of phone numbers that I had misplaced in the two major moves I've made in the last year, and I noticed on the HR site for one of the school districts a particular job opening. I was kind of taken aback by it, because I thought that a friend of mine was currently filling that position and was concerned that something had happened. I was so swamped by my looming deadline that I forgot about it, though, until Saturday.....
I was at the FRG picnic at the lake, which I was very late for, because I'd been up entirely too late the night before, woke up late, and then couldn't stand the tought of showing up without the baked goodies I'd promised, so I spent a couple of hours in the kitchen whipping up three batches of brownies (each one different) and half a batch of butterscotch thin cookies (about 4 dozen), all from scratch. I actually pride myself on my baking, thank you. Not much of a cook, but give me a task for something sweet, and I'll knock your socks off and fatten you up. Of course, since I've been working on my eating and exercise plan, I did not have any brownies or cookies myself, though I did give in and have a strawberry cupcake while I was there. We were expecting a big turnout, and in that regard it was a disappointment, as only 10 families turned out, but it was nice to visit anyways. And someone had the really sweet idea of getting balloons, tying notes that we each had written our soldier on them, and letting them go at the end, so they could "fly to Iraq". I had the chance to get to know a few other spouses I hadn't really talked to much before that, which was also very nice. At one point, my phone rang, and it was one of my closest friends from Texas, and we haven't been able to talk much recently, so I was excited that she'd called.
She is a pianist, choir teacher, and all around awesome person. When we met more than four years ago, she badgered me into signing up to be a substitute teacher so she could have someone with a musical background to fill in for her when she was out. I resisted at first but didn't stand a chance. I'm glad I didn't, because I discovered that I love being in a classroom. I enjoyed teaching, whether it was general music, band or choir, as I have vocal and instrumental background. I even enjoyed being in a regular classroom, though not nearly as much as with music. During our conversation I mentioned the job I was applying for here and talked about how it was the perfect job for me. She was kind of skeptical because it's so different from what I'd been doing and working towards when I was in Texas. But since moving twice in less than six months, and not having my teaching certification (I still have one class remaining for my Bachelor's), and requirements being so different state to state, I just didn't feel like trying to do that here since we're not staying here after he gets out of the service in a year and a half (please God!). Anyways, her reaction gave me pause, but also reminded me about what I'd seen as I was updating my resume. I asked her about the job I'd seen posted, and the person I thought was filling the position (they'd shared an office a year ago, but the district shanged the structure of the schools and they both were moved to different schools). She explained that he'd been moved to the high school band, where he'd been before, hadn't enjoyed as much as the younger ages as there's a lot more work involved in high school, but there you go..... She said he'd wanted the jr. high position, but they wanted a woodwind player for the job, as ALL of the other instrumental people in the district are brass players. As I am a flutist, and I'd had this conversation with the now-high school director before, I said that I wished I was there, I'd apply for the job in a heartbeat. She replied, "why not come back?" Initially I just dismissed it out of hand, but...
That's a good question. A really good one. You see, by the time my hubby gets home, I'd have my entire first year of teaching under my belt. There's a stipend that goes along with the jr high band position that makes the position extremely attractive (15K more than the job here). Since I've worked in the district and know several of the teachers, it would not be difficult. Yes, I still have one class left to finish, but it's a class I can take online, it's for my minor, not my major, and as soon as I'm enrolled in it, I can be accepted in the alternative certification program for Texas. And as long as I'm enrolled in a certification program, they can hire me. And since I've already done a year and a half of substitute teaching and a year working as a teacher's aide..... So I talked to Nbs about it when he called this weekend, not sure what he would think. He thought it was a great idea. It would allow me to pursue what I really want to do, be surrounded once again by friends and close to family, and be someplace where we would be happy settling once he's able to get out again. It might mean beaing apart a few extra months when he gets back, and I'm not looking forward to that. In the end I think he's right, that it would be worth it, but I don't have to like that part. However, once he's out, I'd already be set up with a job, a place to live, and a good steady income so he could relax a little while if he couldn't find something right away, or just work part time and look for a teaching job for the next school year. And finally start working on a family.
There's still things that would keep me here though. I was so excited Sunday night after talking to him about the possibility of going back to Texas that I was up until 4:30am, mostly online looking at stuff for housing and school and jobs. Even if the jr high band job didn't pan out, between the 2 school districts there that I've worked in, they have 17 music positions currently posted, and since I've worked for them before, I'd have a pretty darn good shot at them. And even without the stipend I'm looking at at least 8-10K more than what I would be making here, plus lower cost of living. Then, after little more than an hour of sleep, I got a phone call Monday morning and had to get up, get dressed and report in within 20 minutes. Can't go into details at all, but I've volunteered for something that I feel compelled to do and would miss out on if I left. However, I was glad that I was released after only a couple of hours. I would have been glad to help if needed longer, but my bed was calling.... Of course, by then, I'd had some coffee, and since I have been drinking nothing but water for the last couple of months, when I got home I was wide awake and couldn't sleep. So, I cleaned. The litter, the floors, the bathroom. Hung an organizer thingy on the wall in the utility room, hung curtain rods and curtains in the living room. Baked another batch of brownies and the rest of the cookies (got to love dough that you can freeze) for the cookout I was going to that afternoon, my third of the weekend. Puttered on the puter. And did some walking. Then, off to the cookout, lots of food, and talking, some walking, more talking, a nice tall glass of something refreshing I shouldn't have had, especially after only 1 hour of sleep, more chatting, then finally driving home at midnight. I think I was up for 37 out of 38 hours. And that was after 3-4 hours of sleep for several nights in a row before that.
I slept almost 11 hours Monday night. And about 9 hours last night. I still feel kind of fuzzy. I think my weight loss has definately suffered a little this last week from the erratic sleep and too many cookouts. I gave in Monday and actually had a cookie and half a brownie. But considering that I made 4 batches of brownies and 8 dozen cookies, I guess that's not so bad. Oh, and a really big glass of Malibu and fruit juice. Way too much sugar with all of that. Good thing I didn't whip out the glucometer and check. Oh well, you have to have fun occasionally.
So, now I'm working on getting enrolled in my French class, so next week I can apply to IteachTexas, so the following week I can apply for teaching jobs in the Ft Hood area. Well, no, actually, right now I'm blogging about it, so I guess I'd better go so I can actually do it. But maybe I need some caffeine to clear my head first. And I'm still keeping the applications out here too, because I'm not really sure at this point which direction I'm supposed to be going. I guess I'll find out soon enough.